Question:
It is well known that growing a beard for men is a Sunnah Mu’akkadah (confirmed Sunnah). However, what if a man’s wife says: “You must shave your beard, otherwise I will not allow you to be intimate with me”? I hope you will discuss this topic thoroughly, keeping in mind that I am someone currently experiencing this situation with my wife. I have tried to convince her, but she remains unpersuaded—to the point that she says: “I am prepared to take you to court over this.” With my sincere thanks and appreciation.
Answer:
It is not permissible for a man to accommodate anyone in an act of disobedience to Allah. He must never obey his wife, his mother, his father, nor his superiors in committing a sin, for there is no obedience to a created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.
Shaving the beard is haram (prohibited) and is in opposition to the guidance of the Prophet ﷺ, the guidance of the Prophets before him, and the guidance of the Muslims in general. Indeed, it has been established that the Prophet ﷺ said: “Differ from the Magians: leave the beards to grow and trim the mustaches.”
It has also been established that the Prophet ﷺ had a thick, full beard. Harun (Aaron) said to his brother Musa (Moses): “He [Hârûn (Aaron)] said: “O son of my mother! Seize (me) not by my beard, nor by my head! ” (Ta Ha :94).
Furthermore, the Messenger ﷺ informed us that letting the beard grow is part of the Fitrah (natural inclination/disposition) upon which mankind was created. Therefore, it is prohibited for a man to shave his beard, even if it has become the custom of the people, even if his wife demands it of him, and even if she threatens to take him to court.
If she chooses to litigate, the Sharia court—which rules according to the Law of Allah—will not grant her the right to take any action that undermines the marital bond simply because of his adherence to the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.
As for this woman, the wife, I advise her to fear Allah Almighty regarding her husband and to refrain from commanding him to disobey Allah. Indeed, by commanding him to commit an act of disobedience, she incurs sin even if he does not actually commit the act; this is because she desires for him to do it, whereas it is not permissible for him to comply with her in that regard.