In conclusion, it is necessary for the people of Islam to beware of the causes of divorce and to hold things together. A husband ought to remain steadfast, even if he faces some harm or annoyance; his patience must be strong, and he should endure so that divorce does not occur.
Likewise, it is obligatory upon the woman to fear Allah regarding her husband and to avoid the causes of divorce. She should endure a little of his occasional absences, a bit of his ill-temper, a slight shortcoming in his financial maintenance, or the like. For this life is an abode of trial; it is a place of distress, affliction, and tribulations. It is not the home of ultimate bliss, nor is it the dwelling of eternal comfort and immortality. This is a life of testing and trials—an abode of hardships for those who came before you, for you, and for those who will come after you. No matter the circumstances, it is never a place of pure bliss. Everyone receives their share of its distress, harm, hardships, and various troubles—kings and commoners, rich and poor alike.
Therefore, it is mandatory upon husbands to endure and to fear Allah concerning women, for they are like captive helpers in their custody and are generally the weaker party in managing affairs. So, fearing Allah regarding them is a duty, as is treating them with kindness and avoiding staying out late at night. When a husband stays out late and leaves his wife alone, her mind and mood change; when he finally returns, she cannot remain silent about it. Thus, he must fear Allah and avoid staying out late. Staying up late harms him, harms his wife, and prevents him from performing the Fajr prayer in congregation or on time. This results in much evil, both in terms of causing distress to his wife and failing to treat her with kindness.
Rather, it is an absolute obligation upon him to fear Allah regarding her. Allah says: “And live with them in kindness.” (An-Nisa: 19).
And He says: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.” (Al-Baqarah: 228)
So you, O husband, want to take everything for yourself, yet Allah has only given you a single degree of preference, while otherwise making you both equal. You must treat her with kindness, and she must treat you with kindness. You have a virtue over her, as Allah said: “a degree,” but most people—except those whom Allah wills—want all the rights for themselves and leave no rights for her. This stems from human injustice, from the injustice of man. He takes all his rights and expects her to be mute, never speaking or saying a word, getting angry if she speaks up about anything—even though he is the one mistreating and wronging her! This is a complete lack of fairness; this is injustice.
She has a great right, and you have a great right. Allah says: “And live with them in kindness.” He did not say, “And live with your husbands in kindness.” He commanded the men because the fear of injustice usually comes from men; women are generally vulnerable. Because the fear is from the men, Allah commanded them, saying: “And live with them in kindness,” because they are vulnerable and frequently wronged.
He said: “And live with them in kindness,” and He said: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable,” and then He said: “but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.” Thus, Allah, the Flawless and Exalted, looked out for them and enjoined good treatment toward them. And the Prophet ﷺ said: “Treat women well, for they are like captive helpers in your custody.”