Question:
This questioner asks about the hadith: “He is not of us who strikes his cheeks, tears his garments, and calls out with the call of the Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic period of ignorance).”
Answer:
Yes, this hadith is a prohibition against wailing over the dead. What is obligatory is patience and seeking reward from Allah.
In the “pre-Islamic period of ignorance” (Jahiliyyah), when someone died, women would strike their cheeks and tear their garments out of grief and despair over the deceased. This is unlawful and is an act of Jahiliyyah.
What is obligatory is patience and seeking reward, as Allah says:
“…but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.). Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.’ They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e. blessings, etc.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones.” [Al-Baqarah: 155–157]