Ruling on befriending women


A man lived with a woman (without marriage) for a long time and she bore him many children. Afterwards, he legally married two women who bore him many children. Now, the man wants to drive the first woman out of his house, but the children will not allow him to do so. What should he do?


Firstly: having a girlfriend is considered Zina (sexual intercourse outside marriage), which is prohibited according to the Book of Allah, the Sunnah and the Ijma’ (consensus of scholars). These two individuals must separate, perform Tawbah (repentance to Allah) and seek Allah’s Forgiveness. If they sincerely repent and conclude a sound marriage contract, there will be no sin on them.

Secondly: The children born to this illegal relation are illegitimate children and must be attributed to their mother and not the man, according to the soundest opinion. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The child is to be attributed to the one on whose bed it is born, and for a fornicator there is stoning.1

Accordingly, this woman has no rights on the man, nor do her children because she is not the man’s wife. She is a girlfriend and the children are not attributed to him. However, if the man treats them well and helps them with his property due to their need, this will be good and is a commendable act of charity.

  1. Al-Bukhari, Sahih, Book on transactions, no. 2218; Muslim, Sahih, Book on breastfeeding, no. 1457; Al-Nasa’i, Sunan, Book on divorce, no. 3487; Abu Dawud, Sunan, Book on divorce, no. 2273; Ibn Majah, Sunan, Book on marriage, no. 2004; Ahmad, Musnad, vol. 6, p. 247; Malik, Al-Muwatta, Book on judicial decisions, no. 1449; and Al-Darimy, Sunan, Book on marriage, no. 2237. 

May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions