Rule on a woman refuses any person proposing for her betrothal and wants to be married only to her paternal cousins
Question:
I have a full sister who has reached twenty years of age without getting married. Whenever a man proposes to marry her she refuses, saying “I consent only to being given in marriage to a son of my paternal uncles”. It is worth mentioning that most of the sons of her paternal uncles do not perform Salah (Prayer). I hope Your Eminence will guide us to a way out of this impasse?
Answer:
It is up to her. If a person proposes to marry her, she refuses and wants only one of the sons of her paternal uncles, she should be advised that it is not conditioned that you marry one of your cousins. Perhaps they do not want to marry you; they may want to marry women other than you, either some woman who is more beautiful than you, or for any other reason. On the other hand, the sons of your paternal uncles may be not good because they are disobedient and do not perform Salah. Thus there is no good reason to wait for them. It may be that Allah may guide them and turn to them in repentance, but there is no good reason for waiting for them, because young woman and men are liable to temptation. Thus marriage should be hastened but not delayed if a suitable husband comes. Her guardians should advise and direct her to what is good, so that she can accept the good suitor, even if he is not one of her cousins. This is what is obligatory for her guardians to do.
On the other hand, her guardians should not confine her marriage to the sons of her paternal uncles. There may be some of her guardians who might say to the girl that if she does not marry a son of her paternal uncles she will remain in his house and keeps her in the house or obliges and forces her to marry one of her cousins. However, her cousins may be unrighteous or may be stained with faults, and this is disapproved of by the woman. Thus, it is not permissible for her father to force her to marry a son of her paternal uncles nor it is permissible for the sons of her paternal uncles to compel and threaten her if she refuses to marry other than them… All this is not permissible and is out of the practices of the pre-Islamic period of ignorance. It is not permissible for her father nor for the sons of her paternal uncles to compel her. It is not permissible for them to threaten the person who wants to marry her that he will be killed, beaten, etc. All this is out of the practices of the pre-Islamic period of ignorance. When knowing this, those in authority should reproach and discipline whoever commits this so as to deter injustice and put an end to what stirs corruption.
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- Estimated reading time :2 Min read
- Source:Fatawa Shaykh Ibn Baz p. 20/285
- Marriage
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