Rule on preventing a girl from marrying due to the opinion of a family member


Question:

It has become common nowadays in many families to prevent a girl from marrying due to the opinion of one of her family members. Would you please give your advice?

Answer:

The family and Wali (a legally accountable person acting for a woman regarding marriage) in particular must choose the suitor who is Islamically committed and well-mannered to marry a girl off to him if she accepts. None is allowed to object because of personal desire, hatred or desire for worldly gains. All these reasons should be disregarded. The most important factor is the religious commitment and good character the suitor has. Concerning the woman, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A woman is married for four things: her wealth, family status, beauty, and piety. Choose one who is pious, and your hands will be covered in dust (i.e. You will have the source of all goodness).”1

The same holds true for men as well. The Wali must be keen to welcome the suitor who is Islamically committed and ignore any opposite opinions of family members. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If someone with a satisfactory standard of faith and good conduct comes to you seeking marriage, then give him (your daughter or sister) in marriage. If you refuse, it will lead to the spread of great temptation and corruption in the land.”2

  1. Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Book on marriage, Chapter on equivalence in religion, no. 5090; and Muslim, Book on breastfeeding, Chapter on the desirability of marrying a pious woman, no. 1466. ↩

  2. Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi, Book on marriage, Chapter on if someone comes to you whose religion and character you are satisfied with, then marry him, no. 1084; Cited by Al-Bayhaqi in Al-Sunan Al-Kubra as follows: “If someone comes to you whose religion and character you are satisfied with, then marry him.”; under the Chapter on recommending marrying a person with satisfactory religion and character, no. 13259. ↩